hipsters... (insert expletive.)

So if you haven't heard, there's this new cultural phenomenon: the hipster. Usually identified by thick black plastic glasses and a can of PBR ora pack of American Spirits in their shirt or hoodie pocket, the hipster is no longer a rare breed.


The hipster virus is spreading quickly. Just a few years ago, a hipster was still the typical beat poet with a black turtleneck, a beret to match, a glass of wine (or a cup of "java") and, to top it all off, a bongo. Nowadays those guys are known as... well, old. Or simply as poets. After Threadless released the "Shakespeare hates your emo poems" shirt, though, poetry took a hit on the cool scale. Smoking also went out of style for a while... then the economy took a hit.

I believe all this hipster shit is due to the economy. Check out this article and you may understand why PBR is so popular (other than its spot in David Lynch's Blue Velvet.) Thanks to the inflated prices of such hip clothes from stores like American Apparel and Urban Outfitters, nobody can afford expensive beer AND cool new clothes anymore. The hipster stays away from the cheapest beers meant only for alcoholics, like Natural Light, as well as the typical "bro" beers, like Bud Light.


Maybe I'm just of the right age to be so interested in this stupid trend. Maybe you're only reading this because you found the excessive amount of links fascinating. Maybe these stupid hipsters should go educate themselves about their culture so when someone asks, they can answer why they ride a fixed gear bike, wear a keffiyeh, and drink shitty beer. Oh, and they love cats, too. And apple computers. Especially when the two combine to make the glorious app that is CATPAINT.


Some links for furthering your hipster education:
Stuff Hipsters Hate
Look at this Fucking Hipster
FREEwilliamsburg
I can has Cheezburger?

planning to win is planning to fail?

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a man in want of a car will see that exact car everywhere he goes. As such, when you get to thinking seriously about something you'd never given thought to before, the thought pervades your mind, accompanying you everywhere from your job to the bathroom to your bed when you go to sleep.

Why does this phenomenon occur? to be honest, i couldn't tell you. Maybe it's a vestigial hunting technique. Imagine a cheesily dumb caveman chasing after some game with a spear... "Urg hungry, want rabbit... Urg see rabbit, must hunt now!" It would be handy in those types of situations, where the object of desire could be had directly, or at least presently after the initial realization of want, but in this generation the "skill" is more of an annoyance than anything. All those smarties over in the Communication department have figured out what makes the average bear tick, and have applied these tricky tactics to advertising techniques since the commercial revolution of the 1920s. And how they work! These rhetorical strategies are all Greek to me, but thanks to extensive research, someone somewhere has decoded them and started using them effectively.

I first heard the theory proposed at the beginning in a checkout-rag book titled "How to find your Soul Mate." Ridiculous, I know, but it's what has been on my mind since last week, at the bar. (College kid, remember?!?) STORY TIME. So my buddy is in a fraternity, right, and we're going through facebook together checking out the new pledges. I find a pretty one, call dibs (somewhat jokingly.) Granted, I'd never seen the kid before, but I made it my secret mission to make him my next boyfriend. The next day, in the cafeteria, who do I see but pretty boy? (Even prettier in person.) Saturday, at the bar, I find him on the dance floor! Hallelujah! Dance we do... but the song ends and I'm on my own again. No big, I tell myself. There will be more weekends, more nights at the bar (or the fraternity house.) No big! ...Until I see that he's gone home with my housemate, and watch him kiss her goodnight as she walked him out.

Given that I didn't even know the guy existed last Tuesday, it really is no big deal. What is legitimately upsetting, however, is the awful series of happenings like this that just seem to happen all the time after I've resolved that the exact opposite should go down. This 'seek and destroy' instinct, for lack of a better term, while incredibly useful for survival in more primitive situations, leads to nothing but disappointment in our sophisticated Modern society.